Hi, SEG-ers, it’s Stephanie back with another page five ghoul and this week I’m going to the desert. First of all, no trees! Second, I’m here to have some wishes granted. How am I going to do that? I’m going to find a genie, that’s how. Did you know genie is also spelled ‘djinni’? Though I don’t see why anyone would want to. And I might be in the Middle East, but I’m pretty sure I’m far from anything that could explode. In fact, I don’t see much of anything at all. But this is where the man in the airport that wouldn’t stop snickering told me to go.
As far out as I am, it looks like there are other people out here looking for genies too. I found a set a footprints. I figure maybe they knew where they were going so I followed. At some point the person must’ve found a friend because then there were two sets of footprints and then three and so on. A lot of people are out here, so I must be on the right track.
Well, SEG’ers, I followed those footprints forever and didn’t see a single genie and it started to get dark. I was pretty bummed because I didn’t really know which way was back. I had figured I’d use one of my three wishes to get out of here. But just when things started to get super creepy a man came along. He was on fire but didn’t seem to mind. He asked me why I was in his scorpion nursery. When I told him I was looking for a genie he told me he was one. Success! I told him my three wishes and then he said he’d grant them for $40. That and my phone. I told him it wasn’t getting service out there but he had some kind of hack that let him play Hearthstone offline. Forty dollars was all I had, but I could just wish for money, right? Couldn’t he just wish himself money? Anyway, I gave it to him. He said the first wish he’d grant was to get me out his desert and then the other two when I got back to civilization. I closed my eyes like he told and when I opened them I was on a busy city street. That was a few day ago. And the wishes didn’t come true and he’s got my money and phone.
I thought this column could have been about more than just creepy things, but it turns out the world is just full of creepy things. Everything has something it wants to pull on you or get from you or else it’s just crazy and doesn’t know what it wants or what it’s doing. So I’m going to do what my older sister Kaden did when dad bought her the wrong model Mercedes for her birthday, and run away to India. Maybe that’s where the nice things are. After all, she hasn’t been heard from since.