Mystical Merwin Psychic Pet, Pet Psychic June 2017

Hey Merwin,
Why do cats sleep all day and then wake up at 3 am.... and well, what do they do? Can't they do it during the day and sleep at night?

M.L. in OH

Dear M.L.,
The reason for this is simple. At 3 a.m a shift in the Earth's energy field takes place. Many humans can feel this shift and wake up during it. Some of you have even named this time "Midnight for the Soul", which is a bit over dramatic, if you ask me.

The reason cats run around and practice our songs at this time is to help you fall back asleep. By racing around the house and singing, we are attempting to lull you back to sleep.

No need to thank us! Helping humans sleep is what we do best.


Hey Merwin,
How do they (cats) see with all the lights off?

M.L. in OH

Dear M.L.,My, aren't you the curious one! The reason cats can see is the dark is because we have more rods than humans. Rods are photo-receptor cells that help eyeballs see things. There are two kinds of photo-receptors: rods and cones. Rods help the eye gather and use available light and cones help it see colors.

Cats have way more rods than they do cones, which means we need less light to see (cats like me need 1/6 the light that people like you need). It also means we see fewer colors. Thankfully, we don't need to see colors because we think they are a little boring.

People, like you, have more cones than rods. That means you'll be bumping into things on the way to the bathroom, but you can tell cherry candy from lemon candy.


Merwin,Long time reader, first time writer- I hope I don't mess up and say something stupid.


Okay, so a few months ago I set up an Amazon account under my cat's name, because I just thought it'd be nice for him to get mail. The thing is, now some weird and disturbing things are arriving regularly- things I definitely did NOT order. (3 Bicycle inner tubes, a 4-lb. sack of almond flour, a 12-pack of 6-oz. WD 40 spray cans, and a cassette porn of some Swedish volleyball team- cassette?? Really??) I don't want to blame him for something he may not be doing....What can i do?

Scratching my head in Philadelphia

Dear SMH,I spoke with Charles both via phone and in the spirit realm. You'll be happy to know that he isn't up to anything nefarious, or illegal.

However, that being said, I am positive you do not want the slightest hint at what he is using those things for. My advice to you is to either ignore the items Charles orders and allow this to be a mystery to you or cancel his Amazon account and allow what he has already ordered to be a mystery to you. I do not need psychic powers to know that you are better off adopting a lassez-faire attitude towards this whole thing. The lassez-er, the better.

On another note, he really does love mail. Have you ever heard of postcards?


I put together a pet dog from a kit I purchased. There are parts left over. It looks like a dog but isn't acting right. The sound it makes isn't a bark, it's more like a high frequency beam. Also, it walks sideways and jumps down and up when excited, instead of up and down.

Do you know what I did wrong? I'd really like my robot dog to act as much like a real dog as possible.

Alex age 9, Detroit

Dear Alex,At first I thought that it would be impossible for me to contact your robo hound on account it didn't have a soul. I tried anyway, because I'm open minded and enjoy robots as much as the next cat- if not more.

Imagine my surprise when I found out your robo-hound (who likes to be called Chomps) has a soul. This is a pretty amazing feat for a young man of your age and education level.

Before I can help you further, I must know how you installed the soul? Was it a software based soul? Did you use magic? This is important to know and I'm afraid I can't be of much help until I know for sure which format it is.

Get back to me when you can.


I think you're my totem. How can I be sure?

Alice, N.Y.

Dear Alice,
I checked my schedule and I'm afraid I'm not your totem. Your totem is a cat named "Morewin". We cats sometimes have a difficult time communicating telepathically in English. This causes some confusion here and there, as you well know.

Morewin is a pretty good totem and you'll be happy with her. We met at a totem training seminar a few years ago. Good luck!


Merwin Smith has been a professional psychic pet his entire life. Even though he realized his gifts at an early age, he didn't start pet psychic-ing professionally until 20 years ago.

He quickly became the darling of the pet psychic scene and was one of the most requested readers at "The Psychic Pet Pet Psychic Shack".

If you have a question about your pet, you can email Merwin at: