Page Five Ghouls - October 28th, 2017

Page Five Ghouls: Special Feature

Stephanie Interviews...

Heya, SEG-ers. We have a special treat for you today. In light of recent events and with Halloween just days away I thought I would interview a special guest. The reason for the season! The reason for any season, really. One-half of the twin roots of most human ideologies; Death. I tried to get his brother Probability, as well, but he said he’d let the wave collapse and play it from there. So, I sat down with the Grim Reaper himself for an exclusive one on one interview.

Hello, should I call you Grim? Mr. Reaper?
You can call me Mot.

So, Mot. Tell me little about yourself.
The first thing I can remember is my boss telling me to scrap this old, vintage star for parts. This was a couple billion years after the universe started cooling.

You have a boss?
Mr. Entropy. A bloody taskmaster.

What does he have you do?
I work mostly in resource reclamation. After my boss breaks down another system, I go in and salvage the usable bits. If you want to be scared of something, be scared of him. He’s the one what does you in. I just strip you for parts.

Do you like your job?
Well, it was easy at first, init? The problem is you start by mucking about with these tiny, little bits. But these little bits start getting stuck together, init? Then they start exploding and dragging more in until it's this bloody great ball of fire. Me boss is in his glory then. This glorious raging inferno, burning away the darkness around, was doomed to fail in the end, if me boss had his way. And he did. But here’s the kicker. I go in to strip it down, the tiny bits are now bigger bits. Massive bits. These rocks gather in clumps, "I think no big deal". But the clumps start growing things on them. Next thing you know, you lot are running about and I don’t get a moments rest. There have been over a trillion things added to my to-do list since I took my last breath. On this clump of rock alone. So, do I like my job? I don’t have the time to decide whether I like it or not.

Let me know if this is too personal, but I understand you’ve been battling alcoholism?

Yes, that’s right. It was oh... about the time slime mold started popping up everywhere? I really started hitting the sauce. Then it stopped dulling the ennui. I have been sober for over a millennia. You can really see me at my worst in old medieval woodblock etchings. I look a right skeleton. A wake-up call, that was. Too little, too late though I’m afraid.

It’s never too late?
Some bridges can’t be unburnt.

Can you tell me?
Well, time I got into a fight with Ba’al back when he was in charge of storms. I was off my tits as usual and we started scrapping. Next thing I know his old lady is flogging me on the head with her handbag. We haven’t been on speaking terms since.

Have you tried reaching out recently?
After the new management moved him downstairs, I just hadn’t thought about him. Out of sight, out of mind, init?

I think you should try. The only one who visits him is Dantalion and he treats him like a child.

It is sad when old gods get forgotten, but that’s way of things. Someday I’ll be recycling his bits, giving his archetype a snazzy new makeover.

Where do our souls go when we die?
Above my pay grade.

You don’t know what happens when we die?
I know what I do with you. If by ‘happens’ you mean to the illusion generated by your neural synapses...well, there’s a lot of good material in those synapse.

That’s scary.
Fear is your genome trying to win.

I think it’s time to address the elephant in the room. Alwyn Morgan.
The man has no respect for me work. Pulling the broken machines out of the ground and making them run again. That’s supposed to go back into the system, ya berk. You’re throwing off the balance.

What happens when the balance is off?
It’s not the balance you ought to be worried about. Where does he get the energy to reanimate the dead? Lots of his recent raises are long dead corpses, so it’s not like he stole the energy from the corpse’s former owner. Is he pulling it from other dimensions? There your problem is him tearing space-time a new one. But, that would be his problem too. Is he using his own life energy? If that’s the case, it won’t be long before your grandaddy is a full-blown lich. It’s been a long time since your world has seen one of them.

One last question. Gary wants to know if you want to party with him.
I shouldn’t...the hell with it. I earned it.

Well, there you have it SEG-ers. My interview with Mot, also known as Death. I hope you learned a thing or two. For instance, I learned what a lich is. I also learned Grampy Morgan might turn into an undead wizard. For all I know he already is. It would be nice not to have to learn these things from universal archetypes.

Have a fun and safe Halloween, SEG kids! It is the best holiday after all.