Page Five Ghouls - November 11th, 2017

An Alwyn Situation

Byline: Stephanie Morgan
Dateline: November 11th, 2017 7:16 AM

Heya, SEG-ers! Four score and seven hours ago (That’s four days ago. Your welcome. -G.), we caught wind of Alwyn Morgan touching down stateside. In Virginia to be accurate, Arlington to be precise. And we all know what’s in Arlington, right? Arlington National Cemetery, the largest resting place of fallen soldiers in America. Over 400,000 men and women, most of whose last memories on Earth were of the ultimate expressions of horror and violence humans have ever concocted to deliver upon one another. War is escalation to the logical extreme of the one and only sin, the quintessence of violence; coercion. And most of the time it’s done to prove that they’re right about some dumb thing or other, usually that the other side sucks. I probably don’t need to explain to you what would happen if Alwyn were to raise all these battle hardened corpses. He would have a sizeable fighting force and probably make his full transformation into a lich. It would be a scandalous occurrence that the media would no doubt dub, Lichgate (HA! That’s one for the gravediggers out there, holla at ya boy! - G.) That’s 400,000 war ready ghouls running roughshod over the living. Eager to dig into a warm body, just to feel the spark of life again, greedy and jealous. That he should pick today of all days to unleash his plan, should give you some insight into the rotted mind of Alwyn Morgan.

‘Wait a minute, Stephanie, coercion is the only sin?’ you’re probably saying, ‘What about murder?’ Coercing someone out of their life. Rape? Coercing someone out of their agency. Theft? Coercing someone out of their possessions. The only law in a world of true justice would that against coercion. That’s why it makes zero sense to get thrown in jail for ingesting cannabis or getting a ticket for jaywalking.

A lich is a master of coercion. They don’t ask if the dead would like to rise, he just raises them and leaves them to deal with the trauma of being risen from the dead, usually while enduring enslavement. Now it seems Alwyn has his sights on the men and women who died for a cause they believed in and are about to torn from the after and asked to do it all over again, but this time for a cause they know nothing about. I have my doubts Alwyn even has a plan, it just wants more. With every wraith, banshee and wight he creates the more powerful his sway over the dead becomes. His hunger has no limitations, he’ll acquire until there’s nothing left to acquire. He’ll keep going until every person who ever walked the Earth, walks again. And then he’ll turn his attention to living until all have been converted to living dead. Necroasteres, the planet of the dead. What he’ll do then, is anybody’s guess, but nobody will be around to find out anyway.

But fear not SEG-er’s, the Ghost has you covered. Our team of monster hunters, psychic animals, and eccentric old people who write weird serials but, are secretly old timey occultists and magickians are on the case! A kobold army and tarrasque are standing by. We even have a life coach to help you deal with the trauma (He’ll bore it out of them. -G.). Alwyn will not raise an army today, but if he does you can be sure that’s as far as he gets.

Alwyn a Day's Work

Byline: Gary Llewellyn
Dateline: November 11th, 2017 12:46 PM

Easy day. Alwyn ran off when he saw his granddaughter. It may have been some melodramatic, I-don’t-want-you-to-see-me-like-this, Quasimodo bullshit, I don’t care, this is a breakthrough. Stephanie is Alwyn repellant, apparently. Now all we have to do is drag the poor girl everywhere he goes. It got him out of here at least. I’ll be screwed sideways, if I let that bastard raise Grandpa Lewis, who came back broken from the Japanese theater of WWII. You don’t want those guys walking again, they came back from that hell hole primal as fuck.

Since Stephanie can’t run around in Alwyn’s wake for the rest of her natural life, and, even if she did, it’s a temporary solution. She’ll die someday and Alwyn will still be kicking around in his putrid meat bag. If we zero in on whatever charming qualities Stephanie possesses that freaks the old man out so bad, we might be able to come up with a more precise strategy than ‘he went thataway.’ The next step is to weaponize Stephanie. That and get a spy network going. This, Roscoe and the Duke boys, hot pursuit game is getting tired. Birds make good spies. The best, really. And ravens and pretty metal. That settles it, I’m building a raven spy network. I better brush up on my Old Norse.