Jimmy Jam, Sally Slam and The Birthday Sham Pt. 1


Sally carefully folded her robe and sheathed her dagger. She placed both the items in a wooden box and locked it. She hid the wooden box at the bottom of her closet and turned her attention to her diary. She wrote about her day, what she had eaten, her mood, the mood of her parents, the phase of the moon, and how she felt after performing her daily rituals. She liked writing about her thoughts and feelings, but not so much about her day. Even though she was barely seven, she knew how to spell more words than most kids two years older than her.

Being a Junior Sorcerer wasn't easy for adults, so it should be reasonably understandable that children would have an extra tough go at it. Sally had been studying hard but was still having some issues with ancient Hebrew. Her Latin was coming along nicely though, much to the surprise and joy of her instructors.

She closed her diary and, with a sigh, assumed the half-lotus position and shut her eyes. Meditation wasn't her favorite part of learning Magick, as no child's idea of a good time is sitting perfectly still in a void of non-thought, she did find the practice useful and worthwhile. It was similar, in her mind, to vegetables in this manner. The value and benefits were a bit divorced from engaging in the process. Seeing things this way was pretty new to her. Before joining the Society she hated doing anything that wasn't immediately enjoyable. As all regular readers of these accounts know, her impulsive and overly emotional behavior caused more bloodshed and broken bones than someone of her size should be able to cause.

Jimmy, on the other hand, really took to meditation and found himself practicing longer and longer each day. Just by little bits of longer and longer, he was in currently in no danger of accidentally becoming a Dali Lama. He liked the calmness that the practice brought him. He felt it made him more efficient in the field.

Ever since the Halloween curse Jimmy and Sally had been called on by The Society to exterminate local supernatural threats on an alarmingly increasing basis. It wasn't unusual for them to be out late (on school nights no less.) once or twice a week. Understandably, their grades (which were never much to look at to begin with) were beginning to suffer. Just a little bit, but enough.

The reasoning the The Elder Members came up with for sending children to kill monsters was that these particular children were in many ways older and more experienced in some things than they were. Being the victim of a parental- induced, spiritually invasive whammy* changes a person. Being stuck in the afterlife while not being completely dead certainly takes its toll on a person. It's enough to break a soul in ten pieces, maybe even more, depending. Yet, Sally and Jimmy not only survived, they somehow were better off for the experience. They were wise beyond their years, yet as intelligent as your average almost seven-year old. This discrepancy between wisdom and intelligence is why they were made Junior Members of The Society. It was hoped that by training the children in the ways of True Magick, they could transmute their experiences in to something useful, namely killing monsters, and not end up the dangerous sociopaths that they were on track to be.

But I digress, Jimmy had been experimenting with the full lotus position for a few weeks and was starting to prefer it over the half lotus. He felt it helped him better control his internal energies, which was something he was getting rather good at. He didn't know yet what controlling his internal energies would be good for- if anything. He only knew it helped him feel calm and centered and a little sparky inside. He was quickly discovering that being calm and centered made fighting monsters easier. It also helped him stay out of trouble and cut down considerably on the kind of violent outbursts that made his parents (and most of the neighborhood) fear him.

When Jimmy finished his meditation he jotted some notes in his journal. He donned his robe and unsheathed his dagger and began to practice his daily rituals. When he finished he put everything away and made himself some lunch. He and Sally had plans to play after lunch, so he needed to have a lunch in order to cause the playing.

When they were finished with their respective lunches Jimmy and Sally meet up in Jimmy's Treehouse.

"C'mon Sally, I'm tired of being Agent 34, I want to be The Ruiner for once," he said from atop a crudely constructed table.

"Why? 'cause she's a girl? You can't tell her whether or not she's a girl. That's up to her."

"No, that's not why. I've been keeping track of who's the girl when we play and it's a pretty even split."

"Then why not?"

"Because, according to my records we've played The Ruiner five times and I only got to be him once. That's why."

Normally a knife fight would have erupted by now, but killing monsters together kept Jimmy and Sally calmer than they used to be.

"Furthermore," Jimmy began, "We've played Psamurai only twice and The Joneses only three times."

"I like playing Psamurai. You don't say the 'P' though, you just look at it. How many times have we played T.J. Washington?"

"Once. It went poorly because we both insisted on being Sam."

"I remember. Two Sams is too many."

They agreed that it was and debated what to play for a few minutes. They decided that they would play The Ruiner after all and that Jimmy would get to be The Ruiner this time. Jimmy exited the tree house with Sally right behind him. Once they reached the ground it was game on and the secret mission would begin.

This time, Agent 34 was getting reports that somebody was stealing houses with the people still inside. A magic key was suspected to have been used. But that's all they knew. They had to find the thief and take his magic key before it was time for dinner.

It was still winter break, but just barely. The day was the kind sort of cold and enjoyably crisp, plus, there was still some snow on the ground and the sun had melted it just enough to make it look shiny and bright. As the pair carefully made their way to the front lawn, a car pulled up in front of Sally's house. Neither child recognized it or its driver at first.

"Hey, is that Gustav's cab?" Jimmy asked to no one.

"I think so, but why is it green instead of yellow this time?"

"Who the hell knows. I wonder why he's here?"

Gustav finished parking his newly greened up car and waved to Jimmy and Sally before getting out and walking towards them carrying two over sized silver-colored envelopes.

"Hello Jimmy! Hi Sally!" Gustav yelled while quickly closing the distance between them. He was dressed in a new looking, black suit with a with white shirt and skinny black tie. He still wore his turban, which made him look like a genie on his way to an important business meeting or a jazz musician heading to a gig.

"Why the fancy dubs, Gus?" Jimmy asked.

"I'm going on a date tonight. But I'm here to drop these off first."

Gustav handed over the envelopes he was carrying. Jimmy looked down at his and saw the word "Sally" ornately written across the front. They traded envelopes and said good-bye to Gustav, who looked at his watch and made a face. His eyes bulged out of his head a bit and he looked a little redder than he usually did. "Yikes! I'll be late. Gotta go! See you Thursday," was all he said before disappearing.

"Thursday? What happens Thursday?" Jimmy asked.

"It's my birthday. I'm turning seven."

"Gross."

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