Weekly Column About Monsters - Feb 17th, 2018

Come On Down

Byline: A political prisoner
Dateline: February 17th, 2018

Hi, kids. This Barry Usmellin just reminding everybody that Gary Llewellyn will be appearing at the Laugh House in Des Moines on February 17th and 18th. Tickets are still on sale for the second show. You can get them at the box office, online, through Ticketron or through the mail via Kenbro (allow six to eight weeks for delivery).

All By Myself

Byline: Stacy Miller
Dateline: February 17th, 2018

Hola, SEG-...people. It’s me. If Gary’s not doing this thing than I’m not either. I don’t get paid to do half of it, I’m not going to do all of it. But, so we can legally say we did something this week, I’ll answer a reader e-mail. The letter reads:

Dear [redacted],
I suspect my sister’s new boyfriend is a werewolf. How can I be sure?


Well, Edgelord, most people aren’t aware of this but, everybody living on the Earth today, is within, at most, three degrees from knowing someone who’s a werewolf. So I think it’s fine to go ahead and just assume that he is. This shouldn’t be a problem unless it’s a full moon. And ‘full moon’ is a euphemism. Hope that helps. Thanks for writing, Edge.

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