Mystical Merwin Psychic Pet/Pet Psychic May 2018

Dear Merwin,
Long time reader, 3rd time caller, 1st time writer from Athens , TN. I've been wanting to contact you for some time but haven't been able to reach you. First I called you, it took months to find your phone number. It cost me over ten grand too, but that's not why I'm writing. Anyway, after you didn't return my first call, I called again. A day later I forgot I called and called a third time. I waited for a week and you never called back. I was pretty pissed. I got so pissed I went to your website and realized you don't take phone calls, only emails. So I emailed you this letter you're reading now. I hope you can help. I have a problem with my pets.


Dear Jack,
I think we have different definitions of the word "pet".

As Always, I remain
P.S. I was the one who sold you my phone number.

Dear Merwin,
Aren't goldfish supposed to have like a three-second long long-term memory? That's what I learned at trivia night last week at the bar. I got the question wrong because I guessed three years.

I guessed three years because my life partner is a goldfish named Robert and we've been together twelve years as of last Thursday and I've only had to tell him who I was four times. What is going on? I feel betrayed and that our entire relationship was based on lies.


Dear Carol,
Hearing something at the local pub's trivia night is not a reason to call into question the loyalty of your life partner of 12 years. Your overaction seems to me to be an indication that you are the untrustworthy one here. I visited the catstral plane and attempted to contact your fish-mate but the encounter proved fruitless on account of I I don't speak goldfish. I assumed I did, my apologies. If I were you, I wouldn't be able to stand myself.

As Always, I remain

Dear Merwin,
I don't have a pet or a problem. I think you're awesome. I'm only six but game recognize game.


Dear Sam,
So are you. Do yourself a favor and never give up on your dream of becoming a giant monkey. The world needs you and you're more important than you know.

As Always, I remain


Merwin Smith has been a professional psychic pet his entire life. Even though he realized his gifts at an early age, he didn't start pet psychic-ing professionally until 20 years ago.

He quickly became the darling of the pet psychic scene and was one of the most requested readers at "The Psychic Pet Pet Psychic Shack".

If you have a question about your pet, you can email Merwin at: