Straight From The Fridge: Self Help So Good, It Hurts July 2018

Dear Insufferable Moron Who Does Nothing To Better Themselves And Ignores All The Free Wisdom I Have To Offer In Favor Of Wallowing In Self Pity,

That is a lot of words that I used to address you. Do not get used to this sort of attention, as I will be turning down the intensity of my wisdom flame due to lack of book sales. Book sales fuel the wisdom flame, as you may or may not be aware. My wisdom is not a water fountain at a public park, as you have been treating it. It is something else, something rare and beautiful. It is humbling beyond measure and your apparent ignorance of this is a sure sign of your Narcissism, which is only one of the many troubles that plague your existence.

For example, have you counted the voices in your head recently? Even normal well-adjusted people have several voices in their heads at all times. As a mal-adjusted being who confuses exerting minimal effort with doing their best, you internal head situation is far worse. If you have not recently counted the voices in your head, take a moment to do so, as I am trying to make a point and this is the quickest way for me to do so.

The Point I Was Trying To Make

My point is that the inside of your head is a mess, and until you clean up this mess growth and evolution, let alone competent behavior, will be impossible.

How Do I Fix The Mess In My Head?

You must pay attention. That is the beginning. If you need help paying attention why not sign up for my e-mail course about how to do such a thing? It is free. You have been told about it many times. I am telling you yet again:

How To Pay Attention To The Voices In Your Head

Paying attention for our purposes here means observing the thoughts in your head without judgment, or even interest. You may, on occasion say to yourself “Whoa” if you find your self-observing an extra peculator thought. During this exercise, you simply must pay attention. If you do more than that, you are not paying attention, you are doing something else, something wrong.

You will never be able to get an accurate count of the voices in your head if you do not learn to just pay attention and observe them. Once you are able to pay attention to your thoughts, you can get to know where they are coming from, what is influencing them. This is too much for you to digest all at once. I have made the mistake of thinking someone is reading this with the intent of improving their lives and I got excited.

It Won’t Happen Again

Remember to watch your thoughts for at least ten minutes a day and in a month, when this column reappears, I will take you to the next level- the level of counting the voices in your head.

Before you go, I would like to share with you the FREE audiobook version of my second best selling wisdom tome “Conquer Your Dreams: How To Conquer Your Dreams and Accomplish Your Goals Instead”

It is the whole book, for free, read to you by one of my underlings. It could not get any easier. Must I come to your house, chew food, and then deposit it in your mouth? Do not test me, I am not above such things. Here is your free book:

If you have a soul, you may want a physical or E copy of one or both of my books. They are available from Amazon and are priced to be appealing to the unemployed:

The Rev. Dr. Hugo Holmesnow has traveled the planet in a quest to dilute the wisdom teachings of ancient cultures so they are safe enough for common men and women everywhere to purchase and misuse.

His mystic training began at the age of four when he was accidentally left behind in the jungle while on a family vacation. Through a series of unlikely events, he was eventually adopted by the local natives and trained to be a tribal shaman. After many years, Dr. Holmesnow left the familiarity and safety of the jungle to search for his family.

When he did not find them he climbed a mountain and was nearly killed in the process. The local mystic monks from the ancient monastery found him and nursed him back to health. This near-death experience led him to conclude that there was more to life than what he learned from his shaman jungle training. He then began to immerse himself in the ancient mystical practices of the mountain monks. After many years he mastered them and returned to civilization. Forever changed, eternally superior.

Several weeks later he was no longer Hugo Holmesnow, son of incompetent parents. He was and is now The Rev. Dr. Holmesnow, certified life coach and inventor of the “Better Than You Superior Life Coaching System”. This system provides proven methods and techniques that are part of an overall method which contains the strategies that you need to excel, advance, achieve, attain, reach and conquer your dreams, goals, fears, hopes, and desires.

In addition to creating a system of self-improvement, Holmesnow is the author of “What is Wrong With You? An Introduction to What is Wrong With You” and “Conquer Your Dreams: Defeat Your Dreams and Accomplish Your Goals”. Both are available now at Amazon in paperback and e-book formats.