Mystical Merwin Pet Psychic/Psychic Pet September 2018




Dear Merwin,
Do cats really steal the breath from people when they sleep like they did in that movie I saw last week? I'm only asking because I just got a cat and now I have breathing problems.

Jake "Not A Snake" Jenkins

Dear Jake,
No, little Imps who lives in the walls steal the breath from people when they are sleeping, you would have known that if you finished watching the movie. As for your breathing problems, it's allergies. You would have known that if you ever went to the doctor. Next time, please have a question that can be answered with my psychic powers instead of just common sense.

As Always, I Remain,
Merwin



Dear Merwin,
Hi, doodle ho from New Switzerland! It's a country I made up all by myself. It's currently located in the South Pacific, but that might change. I don't have a pet so I don't have any problems you can solve or questions you can answer. I do have a mental illness which compels me to start new countries, even though I feel really strongly that there are already enough countries.

Thanks!
Ashley


Dear Ashley,
Good luck in New Switzerland! My cousin has the same disorder and she's the acting queen of Neo-Canada, so I know all about your charming, mostly harmless mental disorder.

As Always, I Remain,
Merwin.



Dear Merwin,
I had to switch my cat's food to a different brand because it was discontinued by the manufacturer on account of the animal they made it from went extinct. So I switched to a different, more expensive, and therefore more nutritious brand which my cat of course hates. All it eats now is the salt off of crackers and the wax from starburst wrappers. I don't name my cats because what's the point.
What am I doing wrong?

Holly from BollyWood


Dear Holly,
The main thing you are doing wrong is that you have assumed you have what it takes to be a cat owner (which you don't), the other thing that might be an issue is that you forget to take your meds and when you do that you accuse pet food manufactures of discontinuing your pet's brand of food. I talked to Janice, the cat that lives with you, as well as several of my informants within the pet food industry, and this has been confirmed by my sources.

Hope that helps!

As Always, I Remain,
Merwin




Merwin Smith has been a professional psychic pet his entire life. Even though he realized his gifts at an early age, he didn’t start pet psychic-ing professionally until 20 years ago.
He quickly became the darling of the pet psychic scene and was one of the most requested readers at “The Psychic Pet Pet Psychic Shack”. If you have a question about your pet, you can email Merwin at: merwin@saturdayeveningghost.com

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