Mysticial Merwin Psychic Pet/Pet Psychic

Dear Merwin,
My hamster is depressed and stopped taking her meds. She’s intolerant of sunlight and doesn’t seem interested in her food anymore. The only thing she’s interested in is biting my finger and licking the blood off of it. Can you use your gifts to find out what’s up?

Dear Tyler
Your pet has been turned into a hampire, which is like a tiny vampire. It would be adorable if it weren’t for the fact that they are incredibly evil. Run to the nearest church and beg the first priest you see to come and bless your house before it’s too late. You might want to see your doctor as there’s a small chance you may have been infected when your pet bit you. I wouldn’t worry though, hampsterism usually can’t transfer to a non-hamster species.

Dear Merwin,
Is my cat a cat burglar? She’s always wearing a turtle neck and has way too much silverware and a decent sized collection of other people's family heirlooms. I won’t be mad at her if she is, I really want to help with a heist or two, maybe a caper. Can you ask her for me? 

Dear Sylvia,
He sure is. One of the best out there. Interpol is looking for him and has been for months. I asked if you could help and he said maybe. First you have to pass a series of tests to see whether or not you’ll be any good at this sort of thing. Good luck!

Dear Merwin,
If I send you a picture of my girlfriend dressed up like an otter can you read her mind and tell me what she would like for her birthday? I really like her and want to surprise her with something special that I couldn’t possibly know about. 
Donald R. 

Dear Donald,
While this is a very nice thing for you to do, I cannot help you. I can only read the minds of pets, not people. Not even if they are dressed up like animals. It doesn’t make any sense to me either. Why not just get her an otter? She likes them enough to dress up like them, I’m sure she’d love having the real thing around. Remember, when you give someone else a pet as a gift, you’re giving them an obligation and everyone loves receiving those as gifts!

Merwin Smith has been a professional psychic pet his entire life. Even though he realized his gifts at an early age, he didn’t start pet psychic-ing professionally until 20 years ago.
He quickly became the darling of the pet psychic scene and was one of the most requested readers at “The Psychic Pet Pet Psychic Shack”.
If you have a question about your pet, you can email Merwin at: